P&J Columns 2015


5/1/15   2015 is the Chinese Year of the Sheep. Surely that’s a good omen for the Dons?

15/1/15  ‘Big Brother is watching you’. Though going by the viewing figures, nobody else is.

22/1/15   A no-show for a kid’s party? That’s absolute schoolboy stuff.

29/1/15    Neeps and Tatties. No, not Burns Night; the Cooncil.


5/2/15    A ‘dismal plook’? Maybe, but it’s OUR dismal plook.

12/2/15   A TV that spies on viewers. Has Goggle-box taught us nothing?

19/2/15    A Triumph for women – from Universal Suffrage to pink mini-buses in only 87 years.

26/2/15    If MPs aren’t allowed second jobs, how will Nick Clegg pay his mortgage in June?


5/3/15   When Tim Berners-Lee invented the Internet, this may not be exactly what he had in mind.

12/3/15   The Marcliffe is saved! Now, who can afford a round of drinks to celebrate?

19/3/15   Don’t say Ed Milliband isn’t man enough to lead the country. His wife will give you a right telling off!

26/3/15   No 3rd Term for David Cameron. At last, a policy announcement we can all get behind.


2/4/15   There’s only One Direction – oot the door.

9/4/15   If you tuned in late, 1st Scottish Leaders’ Debate looked like the worst ‘Poirot’ ever.

16/4/15   ‘The Good Life’? Surely the P.M. is more ‘To The Manor Born’?

23/4/15   Man with scythe required: must be tall, Poldark & handsome.

30/4/15   ‘There’s gold in them thar dubs!’


7/5/15   One little lady has been grabbing all the headlines. And there’s a royal baby!

14/5/15   Democracy – delivering the government most folk didn’t want since 1707

21/5/15   ‘Deflation’. Sounds exciting, but in fact it’s a bit of a let down.

28/5/15   ‘Fire! Fire!’ No, not the Broadford Works, Alistair Carmichael’s pants.


4/6/15   Sepp Blatter vows “to fix things” at FIFA. Well, he’s the expert.

11/6/15   You cannae shove your granny aff a bus. But you can escort a supermodel off a plane.’

18/6/15   ‘President’ Trump. That’s who you want with the nuclear button; a man who tilts at windmills.

25/6/15   Saturday night’s alright for fighting your way out of the AECC car park


2/7/15 The Council have a ‘Master Plan’. Great, but it does make them sound like a Bond villain.

9/7/15   The Open without Rory McIlroy? It’s like Polmuir Road – a complete wash-out.

16/7/15   Surely, if anyone could manage a quick gear change, it’d be Lewis Hamilton?

23/7/15   The deep fried Mars Bar saga – a sign of the times?

30/7/15   Lord Sewel’s greatest shame? He used to be an Aiberdeen Cooncillor.


6/8/15 ‘Café culture’ on the streets of Aberdeen? Ok – as long as it stays dry.

13/8/15   The Labour Party: if you want to beat them, join them.

20/8/15   Don’t Mone about Michelle. It’s an uplifting story.

27/8/15  So what do we call them now? Five Directions?


3/9/15   Balking at a Winter Wonderland.

10/9/15   63 years – more reign than a Scottish summer.

17/9/15   The SNP are playing the Generation Game. If only we could shut that door.

24/9/15   Initiation ceremonies: how to get ahead in politics.


1/10/15   How can they have flowing water on Mars? I can’t even get a phone signal at Clinterty.

8/10/15   Heathrow Terminal 5 – the final frontier.

15/10/15   Why the fuss? It’s hardly the first time someone’s been tanked up in Tory.

22/10/15   Aberdeen beach in October? – it’s the bomb!

29/10/15   After House of Lords defeat, Osborne goes back into bat.


5/11/15   V&A reject Thatcher’s outfits. Well, it’s a museum, not a chamber of horrors.

12/11/15   WADA shocker for the Russians.

19/11/15   Living Legend commits vandalism – it’s a sign of the times.

26/11/15   How can Scotland beat obesity? Pass me a yum-yum and I’ll tell you.


3/12/15   Hot spiced wine? I’ll have to mull it over.

10/12/15   No forth road crossing ’til 2016? Well, it is a suspension bridge.

17/12/15   Tim Peake goes around the world in 90 minutes. Michael Palin must be kicking himself.

24/12/15   Santa Claus is coming to town. Hope he likes massive inflatable rabbits.

31/12/15   Love’s Labours Lost, alang wi’ aboot a hunder padlocks.