P&J Columns 2015
January
5/1/15 2015 is the Chinese Year of the Sheep. Surely that’s a good omen for the Dons?
15/1/15 ‘Big Brother is watching you’. Though going by the viewing figures, nobody else is.
22/1/15 A no-show for a kid’s party? That’s absolute schoolboy stuff.
29/1/15 Neeps and Tatties. No, not Burns Night; the Cooncil.
February
5/2/15 A ‘dismal plook’? Maybe, but it’s OUR dismal plook.
12/2/15 A TV that spies on viewers. Has Goggle-box taught us nothing?
19/2/15 A Triumph for women – from Universal Suffrage to pink mini-buses in only 87 years.
26/2/15 If MPs aren’t allowed second jobs, how will Nick Clegg pay his mortgage in June?
March
5/3/15 When Tim Berners-Lee invented the Internet, this may not be exactly what he had in mind.
12/3/15 The Marcliffe is saved! Now, who can afford a round of drinks to celebrate?
26/3/15 No 3rd Term for David Cameron. At last, a policy announcement we can all get behind.
April
2/4/15 There’s only One Direction – oot the door.
9/4/15 If you tuned in late, 1st Scottish Leaders’ Debate looked like the worst ‘Poirot’ ever.
16/4/15 ‘The Good Life’? Surely the P.M. is more ‘To The Manor Born’?
23/4/15 Man with scythe required: must be tall, Poldark & handsome.
30/4/15 ‘There’s gold in them thar dubs!’
May
7/5/15 One little lady has been grabbing all the headlines. And there’s a royal baby!
14/5/15 Democracy – delivering the government most folk didn’t want since 1707
21/5/15 ‘Deflation’. Sounds exciting, but in fact it’s a bit of a let down.
28/5/15 ‘Fire! Fire!’ No, not the Broadford Works, Alistair Carmichael’s pants.
June
4/6/15 Sepp Blatter vows “to fix things” at FIFA. Well, he’s the expert.
11/6/15 You cannae shove your granny aff a bus. But you can escort a supermodel off a plane.’
25/6/15 Saturday night’s alright for fighting your way out of the AECC car park
July
2/7/15 The Council have a ‘Master Plan’. Great, but it does make them sound like a Bond villain.
9/7/15 The Open without Rory McIlroy? It’s like Polmuir Road – a complete wash-out.
16/7/15 Surely, if anyone could manage a quick gear change, it’d be Lewis Hamilton?
23/7/15 The deep fried Mars Bar saga – a sign of the times?
30/7/15 Lord Sewel’s greatest shame? He used to be an Aiberdeen Cooncillor.
August
6/8/15 ‘Café culture’ on the streets of Aberdeen? Ok – as long as it stays dry.
13/8/15 The Labour Party: if you want to beat them, join them.
September
3/9/15 Balking at a Winter Wonderland.
10/9/15 63 years – more reign than a Scottish summer.
17/9/15 The SNP are playing the Generation Game. If only we could shut that door.
24/9/15 Initiation ceremonies: how to get ahead in politics.
October
1/10/15 How can they have flowing water on Mars? I can’t even get a phone signal at Clinterty.
8/10/15 Heathrow Terminal 5 – the final frontier.
15/10/15 Why the fuss? It’s hardly the first time someone’s been tanked up in Tory.
22/10/15 Aberdeen beach in October? – it’s the bomb!
29/10/15 After House of Lords defeat, Osborne goes back into bat.
November
5/11/15 V&A reject Thatcher’s outfits. Well, it’s a museum, not a chamber of horrors.
12/11/15 WADA shocker for the Russians.
19/11/15 Living Legend commits vandalism – it’s a sign of the times.
26/11/15 How can Scotland beat obesity? Pass me a yum-yum and I’ll tell you.
December
3/12/15 Hot spiced wine? I’ll have to mull it over.
10/12/15 No forth road crossing ’til 2016? Well, it is a suspension bridge.
17/12/15 Tim Peake goes around the world in 90 minutes. Michael Palin must be kicking himself.
24/12/15 Santa Claus is coming to town. Hope he likes massive inflatable rabbits.
31/12/15 Love’s Labours Lost, alang wi’ aboot a hunder padlocks.
