16/1/12 Oor Ain Folk
23/1/12 Independence Special
30/1/12 Burns Night is past, but it’s still Hogmannay in Miekle Wartle
06/2/12 Exercise? Open a bag of Wotsits
13/2/12 Love is in the Air. Or is it the Cabbage Soup?
20/2/12 The Butter-Fingered Philanthropist
27/2/12 Down & Out In Woolmanhill
05/3/12 Ladies and Gentlemen, please give it up…for Lent!
12/3/12 I’ve had the time of my life!
19/3/12 The Mother of All Sundays
26/3/12 Clocks Go Forward, Petrol Goes Up & Meikle Wartle Goes Back to Bed
02/4/12 Education, education, education. And butteries
09/4/12 MI5 want to read all our emails. What a dull episode of ‘Spooks’ that’ll be
16/4/12 The Panda is an endangered species, but it’s not all black and white
23/4/12 Meet a conscientious objector. In fact, he’s practically a workaholic
30/4/12 The council elections. Have your say on local government….and a nosey round a primary school
07/5/12 The people of the North-East have spoken, and they have said ’Ppfff’!
14/5/12 It’s a triumph for democracy! More folk voted for Pudsey than turned out in the local elections
21/5/12 Can you complete a 10k road race without training? Only if you bring your bus fare
28/5/12 Meet the new boss, same as the old boss – but slightly better paid and in a nicer office
04/6/12 60 years in the same job with no chance of promotion. Mind you, the tied house is a bosker
11/6/12 Four words which perfectly sum up what the London 2012 Olympics mean for the North of Scotland: “Torch Relay – Expect Delays”
18/6/12 I love you, you’re perfect, now keep the change
25/6/12 Tax doesn’t have to be taxing. Or expensive
02/7/12 It’s the book you simply can’t put down. In case someone clocks what you’re reading
09/7/12 Humans are now so advanced that our technology can answer the most fundamental questions: Did the ball cross the line?
16/7/12 This week has seen much of the country hit by torrential rain and flooding. What we would call ‘Summer’
23/7/12 ‘Nick Buckles’ : Not so much a name as grounds for a dishonourable discharge
30/7/12 Aberdonians are deep down happy. Very deep, if the faces on the folk on Union Street are anything to go by
6/8/12 “Team GB take Gold in the Coxless C2 Double-Trap Kirin!” Let’s face it, we’re medalling in things we don’t fully understand
13/8/12 Meikle Wartle is gripped by Olympic fever. Well, better that than Foot and Mouth
20/8/12 Hooray! Hooray! Its a Holi- Holiday! destination Magaluf and Minsk
27/8/12 Poor Prince Harry just can’t win. He gets stick when he wears a Nazi uniform and just as much when he doesn’t!
3/9/12 Why stop at the Bible? Let’s translate every book into Doric, from Lady Chatterly’s Bidie-In to Captain Corelli’s Squeezebox
10/9/12 We’ve got our own version of ‘Who Do You Think You Are’, it’s called ‘Fa’s The Boy?’
17/9/12 Rowie’ has been added to the dictionary. Hang on, ‘Rowie’ wasn’t in the dictionary?
24/9/12 Eating deep-fried confectionary doesn’t get tougher than this!
1/10/12 ‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest word. Except for politicians; for them it’s ‘resignation’
8/10/12 They said Aberdeen has its head stuck in the sand. Well, we showed them!*
15/10/12 That’s Summer over – if that’s the right word for 3 months of freezing fog, howling winds and floods
22/10/12 You say ‘Potato’, we say ‘Tattie’ (Holiday)
29/10/12 Granny’s golden rule for when the clocks change: ‘Spring Roll, Fall Over’. Of course, she was affa dottled.
5/11/12 Heading Aberdeen’s City of Culture bid – an unsuitable job for an inabootcomer
12/11/12 The new reality show that’s just for Nadine Dorries: ‘I Lack Credibility; Get Me Out of Here!’
19/11/12 Tit-for-tat attacks and dangerous snacks
26/11/12 It’s that rarest of things; a rugby score a Pittodrie!
3/12/12 St Andrew’s Night with The Meikle Wartle Ceilidh Band (Ft.Will.I.Am )
10/12/12 ‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’ Well, it fairly beats driving on untreated roads
17/12/12 All I want for Christmas is cheaper petrol, a doric dictionary and a Onesie
24/12/12 It’s the true meaning of Christmas; tree theft, bin-raking and a blow-up reindeer
31/12/12 Hogmannay (n.) When the Scots, rightly famed for their incredible capacity for alcohol, really step it up a gear
* Denotes unpublished column