Lemon Tree Studio – 2004

‘Never short of gags or imagination.’

— P&J

‘Bristles with imagination and originality.. another winner from the Flying Pigs.’

— Evening Express

Pausing briefly to get married (Greg & Susan), move house (John), move to Glasgow (Steve), and, somewhat inconveniently, emigrate to Australia (Oli & Chrissy), the time was right for Flying Pig to return with an all new production.

Replacing Oli was no mean task, but as luck would have it, Moray Barber, experienced performer and long time friend of the Pigs, had returned from his years of exile in deepest darkest Edinburgh, and was quickly recruited.

Returning to the Lemon Tree for what was to be the last time, we made, for the first time, full use of video projection to stage Robbie Shepherd’s attempt to better David Blaine’s feats of endurance, relate the untold story of Jimi Shand’s psychedelic adventures in 60s London, and to allow Oli to continue to play Ronnie in spite of being on the far side of the world. We also saw the return of the Liar after a two year break and the creation of our political heavyweights, the Licensing Board.

Cast
John Hardie
Moray Barber
Craig Pike
Susan Gordon
Steve Rance
Elaine Clark
Greg Gordon
With
Andrew Brebner

Script
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner
Lyrics
John Hardie
Andrew Brebner

Directed by
John Hardie
Musical Arrangements
Steve Rance
Craig Pike

Sponsors
Ledingham Chalmers
CMS Cameron MCKenna

Previous show: The Madness Of Kingswells – 2002

Next Show: Best Back – 2004

HMT at Hilton –  2004

‘The Best of Flying Pigs does everything it says on the packet. If you can beg, borrow or steal a ticket, do so. Your sense of humour depends on it.’

— Evening Express

An invitation to perform at HMT’s temporary venue at Hilton led to Best Back, our second outing of 2004 and our second ‘Best Of’ production.

Opening announcement: “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is Flying Pig Productions. Welcome to ‘Best Back’, oor ‘best of’ compilation. So if ye think this is bad, you should’ve seen the dirt we left oot!”

Initial concerns that our fanbase might balk at being asked to again fork out their hard-earned cash to see material which they now seemed to know better than us proved to be ill founded; enough of you wanted the proverbial another chance to see The Mither! Wedding saga, The Buckie Drifters, Ghengis Khanna and The Liar; Mother Theresa to enable us to sell out our first great muckle venue. Even a couple if feet of snow couldn’t deter the diehards, and as we gathered at Greg and Susan’s for the traditional wine and stovies, we were all agreed that the concussion suffered by one of our number inadvertently head-butting an opening car boot while loading props out of the theatre was a small price to pay for another successful show.

Cast
John Hardie
Moray Barber
Craig Pike
Susan Gordon
Steve Rance
Elaine Clark
Greg Gordon
With
Andrew Brebner

Script
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner
Lyrics
John Hardie
Andrew Brebner

Directed by
John Hardie
Musical Arrangements
Steve Rance
Craig Pike

What the Papers Said
Aberdeen Evening Express

In just six years, the Flying Pig has travelled from its launch pad at Aberdeen’s Lemon Tree to the stage of Her Majesty’s Theatre, earning itself a good few air miles – and a theatre full of fans – in the process. This latest show reminds us of their journey so far, presenting the eight talented comedy actors who started out in Student Show and now find themselves perfectly at home on the stage of the city’s largest theatre, where it looks as though they might be tempted to stay. As a “Best Of” show, theatregoers will have seen some of the material before, but predictable it certainly is not, as you reacquaint yourself with such classics as Mither and Archie and Davie, and laugh all over again at the hilarious lines you certainly won’t remember from last time. Characters retired a few shows back make a welcome return – The Liar, Oor Faither, Ghengis Khanna and the boys from The Cruel Sea provide some side-splitting moments, while rewritten lyrics for some of the best-known pop songs vary the pace and become classics in themselves. The Best of Flying Pig does everything it says on the packet. If you can beg, borrow or steal a ticket, do so. Your sense of humour depends on it.

Previous show: The Hunchback of Walker Dam – 2004

Next Show: The Seagull Has Landed – 2005

2007 – His Majesty’s Theatre

‘Fabulously funny, outstanding’

– Press and Journal

‘If you have a ticket – hold on to it tightly… you’ll love every hilarious minute.’

– Evening Express

‘A week at HMT’ – the fantastical ambition first voiced in the Lemon Tree bar after our first show became a reality in 2007 with ‘Desperate Fishwives’. A small preview tour (or ‘Tourette’) took the nascent production to the good people of Aboyne and Laurencekirk, raising funds for local good causes and providing the cast with a couple of slap-up home-baked post-show feeds. It was all new stuff, bringing Minker TV Gold and the Planning Officer to the stage for the first time. Not to forget Mither and Faither’s coach trip to Paris and our requiem for Grampian TV.

Gallery

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A live recording of ‘Desperate Fishwives” is available on CD from the Flying Pig Shoppie.

Cast
John Hardie
Moray Barber
Craig Pike
Susan Gordon
Steve Rance
Elaine Clark
Greg Gordon

Script
Greg Gordon

Lyrics
John Hardie   Moray Barber

Directed by
John Hardie

Musical Arrangements
Steve Rance

Sponsors
Sparrows Offshore
Ledingham Chalmers
KR Steel Services Ltd
Esslemonts
Gavin Bain and Co
The Marcliffe Hotel
CMS Cameron MCKenna

What the Papers Said
Press and Journal 8/3/07

DESPERATE FISHWIVES PROVES A BRILLIANT CATCH

There was a time when the comedians calling themselves the Flying Pigs performed in the smaller, less grandiose venues of Aberdeen. In the early days of the performers’ career they found time for humble critics and would of occasion even write my review for me and print it in the programme. Now of course the Flying Pigs are in a different orbit and packing out HM Theatre to the ceiling every night until Saturday this week and I have to write my own review of their fabulously funny, outstanding show Desperate Fishwives. Still it’s the least I can do in exchange for a fantastic laugh. I’ve said this before but it seems even truer now – the Pigs have grown into the realms of HMT, they are the inheritors of ‘Scotland the What?’, in more ways than one since John Hardie, one of the principal Pigs, is Buff Hardie’s son. Now I’ve made the comparison you’ll know what the Flying Pigs are all about. Basically about helping North-east folk laugh at themselves. In a sense last night’s audience were onstage in the many, colourful, daft and couthy characters written mainly by Greg Gordon. Poor Torry gets a ribbing, as usual, but then so does Milltimber. Even the programme is a hoot. The show runs until Saturday and should not be missed.

Evening Express 8/3/07

FLYING PIGS KEEP THE LAUGHS COMING

Laughs were flying last night, as the Pigs played their first night at His Majesty’s Theatre to a sell-out crowd.This, the group’s 10th show, sees them back at HMT for the second time in as many years, playing to full houses for five nights. Quite a jump from their humble beginnings, when in 1998, their first show Last Tango in Powis played two nights at the Lemon Tree. Now, they’re exactly where they were headed, with a show which has snowballed in popularity but remains the same blend of irreverent songs, skits and hilarious characters guaranteed to have you in stitches. Often likened to Scotland The What? for a new generation, the group certainly comes from the same comedy stable. John Hardie (yes, Buff’s son) and Craig Pike share some of the show’s funniest moments on a pink park bench, with the musings of instantly familiar old boys Archie and Davie.Meanwhile Susan Gordon and Craig Pike take their well-loved characters Mither and Faither on a coach to Paris – accompanied by a troublesome prostrate and a pair of unwanted friends. With Greg Gordon’s Andy, the jobsworth jannie, sharing the laughs with Craig Pike at the council planning department lamenting the building of the Kepplestone flats, Desperate Fishwives goes where most of us fear to tread – and emerges laughing. If you have a ticket – hold on to it tightly. As ever, you’ll love every hilarious minute.

Previous show: The Seagull Has Landed – 2005

Next show: How To Look Good Glaikit – 2009

Lemon Tree Studio – 2000

“Sharp, witty, irreverent and essential comedy viewing”

– Press & Journal

“H’min, wis you in ‘at show at i Lemon Tree?
F*@#!ng brilliant! I hinna laughed ‘at much in years!”

—The Bouncer at Beluga

Dedicated to the memory of Stanley Cooslick, the famously reclusive North-East auteur, Clockwork Sporran had been unseen in British theatres for over 20 years, primarily because we’d only just written it.

Highlights included the Teuchtervision Song contest, Robbie Shepherd appearing in a Jane Austen novel,  Craig vamping it up and Maurice blowing his own, not inconsiderable, trumpet. .

More full houses and good notices resulted, for which we can only apologise, as a reversal of fortune would clearly have made for more exciting reading.

The post-show party was at Greg’s city centre batchelor pad, with newly fitted kitchen, leather suite and perforated roof. We were also graced with a guest appearance from Oli’s parents, the Commander and Mrs Knox, who provided words of wisdom and encouragement, as well as a reprimand for John for eating stovies straight out of the pan.

Cast
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steven Rance
Susan Webster

Written by
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner

Directed by
John Hardie

Lighting Design by
Kelvin Murray

Sponsors
Raeburn Christie
Lefevre Litigation

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal 4/6/99

Pigs were flying again at the Lemon Tree last night, powered by hail and hearty laughter from an enthusiastic audience. The long-awaited Flying Pig production of Stanley Cooslick’s Clockwork Sporran was unleashed with a distinctly tangy, orange flavour, right down to MC John Hardie’s boots. Although not sponsored by Orange, the show featured a flock of welcome mobile phone jokes, and some lively stabs at Grampian TV. However, the flying piglets are in no way discriminating about their vicitms, most people from most walks of life in the North-east, including myself, gets comically abused in this hilarious show. The Aberdeen Pavement Dances were a personal favourite and although all the piglets were uniformly brilliant, Craig Pike was more brilliant that most – in his orange shirt and socks. Written by Greg Gordon and Andrew Brebner, Clockwork Sporran is sharp, witty, irreverent, and essential comedy viewing.

Aberdeen Evening Express, 4/6/99

Jings, crivvens, help ma Boab! How do they do it? Another evening of pure unadulterated fun from the Flying Pigs – only this time, it may be even better. If you consider yourself an old-timer – if you have performances of Last Tango In Powis and Where Seagulls Dare under your belt – you’d better make it a hat-trick with this latest contribution to the North-east laughter file. Craig Pike excels himself yet again in a multitude of acting and musical roles, including a Doric Count Dracula and long-suffering faither in the Mither! sketches. John Hardie never fails to entertain in roles from the hilarious Archie and Davie and The Liar, to an uncanny impersonation of Grampian TV’s Kate Fraser. The show also launches some pop careers in the form of arthritic geriatric Betty Spears and the North-east boy band, Portsoyzone. The cast of A Clockwork Sporran, which includes the brilliant Susan Webster, Shirley Cummings, Steve Rance and Oli Knox, should be proud of themselves. For the third year running, I’ve chuckled all the way home. Catch it if you can.”

Previous show: Where Seagulls Dare – 1999

Next show: All Quiet On The Westburn Front – 2001

Lemon Tree Studio – 1999

 

“A maelstrom of mirth.. This show is seriously funny & should not be missed!”

—Press & Journal

Why ‘Where Seagulls Dare’?

The full and frank story behind the sequel to Last Tango in Powis:

Greg:       ‘ Well, that last one went very well, didn’t it? Shall we do another one?’

Andrew:  ‘Yes, let’s.’

No time was wasted in beginning preparations for the second show. Indeed, the first new sketch was composed by Greg in Jock’s Bar after the opening night of Tango. Taking on board the criticism of the more off colour moments; expletives and bodily functions were pruned from the show and confined, instead, to rehearsals.

There were personnel changes too, with Scott and Fiona lured away to stage school in London, and the arrival of Susan and Steve, bringing a most welcome dose of coothy Doric and arseless Northern humour to proceedings.

Highlights included the debut of Aberdonian Pavement Dances, Archie & Davie remembering the Glory of Gothenburg and Maurice the Liar telling a whopper of biblical proportions.

Here’s the programme, featuring Craig’s debut appearance as cover star and a pair of stuffed seagulls which, legend has it, Oli smuggled out of (and, crucially, back into) the Zoology Dept at the University.

Cast
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steven Rance
Susan Webster

Written by
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner
Additional Material by
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Gordon Irvine
Susan Webster

Directed by
John Hardie

Musical Arrangements
Steve Rance

Lighting Design
Kelvin Murray

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal, 3/6/99

‘Apparently I hailed the first Flying Pig production, Last Tango In Powis, as a banquet of belly-laughs which must be true, because it was. Far be it from me to deprive the brilliantly funny Piglets of a handy bite-sized nugget of praise for their publicity material.So here are a few gems about their current comedy show, Where Seagulls Dare, which opened at the studio theatre of Aberdeen’s Lemon Tree last night. “A cocktail of capers” is quite good, as is “a treasure chest full of chuckles”. “A maelstrom of mirth” is better, or even “a lexicon of laughs!”All of which apply, are completely true and would fit neatly on to a poster and flyer. Written by Andrew Brebner and Greg Gordon, Where Seagulls Dare features the usual suspects. But for this new show Hardie, Knox, Pike, and Cummings are joined by the excellent Susan Webster and the superb Steve Rance.In all seriousness, this show is seriously funny and should not be missed.’

Aberdeen Evening Express, 4/6/99

‘What happens when the student show grows up? Well you may ask, as it doesn’t happen very often. Last time Scotland the What was born. Now its the turn of Flying Pig Productions to cut loose from the apron strings with their comedy show Where Seagulls Dare. Owing as much to Harry Enfield and chums as to Buff, Steve and George, the top comedy team of Last Tango In Powis fame pulls together yet another fun-packed evening in true North-east style. PC Bobby Constable is present and correct, courtesy of Doric grand master Craig Pike – whose portrayals of Mr Fester the undertaker and the coothy Doric terrorist are outshone only by his double act with John Hardie, Archie and Davie. If you lament the demise of Scotland the What?, Archie and Davie brings it all flooding back, reincarnated in the way only Buff’s son could get away with. Steven Rance, the Yorkshireman who mastered Doric for this year’s student show, turns in a still impeccable local accent, while girl power is supplied in gallons by talented duo Shirley Cummings and impersonator Susan Webster. Another year has brought new confidence, new faces, and a few necessary changes to the Flying Pigs, but I am glad to report the comedy and laughs are frequent as ever. I am already looking forward to next year.’

Previous show: Last Tango In Powis – 1998

Next show: A Clockwork Sporran – 2000

After performing with Flying Pigs, Laura moved to London to train at Mountview Academy gaining her BA HONS Performing Arts (Musical Theatre). While studying she played roles including Julie Jordan in ‘Carousel’, The Beggar Woman in ‘Sweeney Todd’, and Eve/Mamma Noah in ‘Children of Eden’, in London’s Covent Garden.

Since graduating theatre credits include ‘The Wasteland’. On Television she played various roles for C4’s ‘Bo Selecta!’ and Laura has also been Principal Singer in ‘Best of the West End’ onboard The Arcaidia and most recently, The NCL Dawn.

Laura is currently living and working in Lisbon, Portugal in the Cirque show ‘Four, Spirit of the Elements’ as their lead vocalist, a role that requires “Weird ass singing and crazy costumes“.

At last, her early experience as a Flying Pig can be put to good use.

After appearing as a shouting Irishman in the first Flying Pig Show, shouting Irishman Dave went on to graduate from Aberdeen University in Psychology.

Accepting the Queen’s Shilling, he then embarked for a life on the ocean wave with the Royal Navy, protecting not only our shores, but also fish and, with the aid of a decent sunblock, his skin.

He briefly reprised his stage career and was outstanding in the Britannia Royal Naval College’s Christmas Panto as Prince Charming, a role more traditionally played by a female performer.

He is now the Navigating Officer on HMS ENTERPRISE, a position which will be held in the future by a Mr. Sulu and a Mr. Data

Small of a*se yet big of heart, Steve appears for Flying Pig from the relaxed decadence of Glasgow’s Merchant City and by day is a Principal Teacher of Moral and Religious Education. Those of you who have met him may require to read that sentence again.

Born at an early age, Steven has grown into a performer of some stature, and following some recent Chiropractic assistance has now reached the height of 6 feet 3, without the stoop (with it, 5 feet 5).
Following his debut as ‘3rd Peasant’ in the South Leeds Panto, and training with the St Philips Primary School Players, he achieved critical acclaim in the roles of ‘Pharaoh’ and ‘Dracula’, though not at the same time.

After a period of “resting” he returned to the stage in Pools Paradise as ‘the Revd Toop’ – an ecclesiastical role, which of course would point to a calling in later life. As, indeed, did his roles as an arrogant young man in The Fantasticks, a cuckolded lover in Arcadia, a boorish actor in Kiss Me Kate, and, most taxing of all, a transvestite in Hair.

Television has included a role as ‘Bored Audience Member’ in An Evening With Evelyn Glennie and a surprised but rather pleased winning contestant on defunct daytime STV quiz Beat the Streets.

Steven is, of course, best known for his recurring role as ‘fake tan road tester’ on BBC Radio Scotland, in which he describes the texture, colour and efficacy of a variety of tanning products for the benefit of mid-morning listeners.

King of Couthy, Man of the People and Pin up boy of the Sunshine Club (Kincorth), Craig is a local showbiz legend in his own lunchtime. When not pursuing his day job with a prominent local law firm,  he can bring joy to a roomful of octogenarians with a squeeze of his box.

Craig began his career at an early age, appearing as ‘The Oracle’ in Mile End Primary School’s sell out production of “Queen Beryl and the Romans” in 1985. This part required him to wear his mother’s spare room curtains, a look which he periodically sports to this day, sometimes when bowling. In 1988 he made his professional debut as Third Munchkin from the Left in “The Wizard of Oz”, with Jessica Martin.

An accomplished accordion player, Craig is a stalwart of “Mrs Gerrard’s Accordion Band” ® and his recorded work includes the CD and Video box set “Hogmanay Party at Pittodrie House Hotel”, available now from all good reduced to clear bins.
TV includes appearing as a solo artiste in “Little Donkey”, live from Beechgrove Church in 1986, and an appearance on Grampian TV in the shining and radiant company of Sarah Mack, who, it turns out, really is that colour in real life.

Craig is also resident choreographer for Flying Pig, having studied at the Balnagask Conservatoire of Dance where he graduated with distinction in Tap, Ballet and The Slosh.

Susan continues to bring her own distinctive Doric brilliance to our productions as well as being a calm and relaxed presence in the Gordon household. Another hard working edumacator, Susan also finds time to produce baking and desserts of the highest quality, to which the ever-expanding waistlines of the Pigs are testament.

An alumnus of Aberdeen’s prestigious Holburn West Junior Music Society, she was one half of a highly successful sister act during the early 1980’s. Their closing number – an impassioned performance of “Let’s all Play at Indians” – would elicit wild applause from a select audience of mum, dad, and upstairs neighbour. Typecast in the role of ‘Narrator’ at Ashley Road Primary, Susan then diversified and took the guise of ‘La Corbie’ in Aberdeen Grammar School’s production of Mary Queen of Scots Got Her Head Chopped Off, and has continued the ‘old crone’ theme with subsequent roles. With Flying Pig, however, Susan has broadened her palette and can be sometimes seen playing characters as young as 50.

TV work includes presenting a cheque in a Grampian TV Telethon and an appearance aged 4 in the Union Grove Oddbins during a report by Selina Scott, who subsequently went on to work with both ‘fun-time’ Frank Bough and Prince Charles. Her radio work includes a performance as ‘starstruck fan at the head of the queue for Jason Donovan tickets’ in 1990.