A Clockwork Sporran

Lemon Tree Studio – 2000

“Sharp, witty, irreverent and essential comedy viewing”

– Press & Journal

“H’min, wis you in ‘at show at i Lemon Tree?
F*@#!ng brilliant! I hinna laughed ‘at much in years!”

—The Bouncer at Beluga

Dedicated to the memory of Stanley Cooslick, the famously reclusive North-East auteur, Clockwork Sporran had been unseen in British theatres for over 20 years, primarily because we’d only just written it.

Highlights included the Teuchtervision Song contest, Robbie Shepherd appearing in a Jane Austen novel,  Craig vamping it up and Maurice blowing his own, not inconsiderable, trumpet. .

More full houses and good notices resulted, for which we can only apologise, as a reversal of fortune would clearly have made for more exciting reading.

The post-show party was at Greg’s city centre batchelor pad, with newly fitted kitchen, leather suite and perforated roof. We were also graced with a guest appearance from Oli’s parents, the Commander and Mrs Knox, who provided words of wisdom and encouragement, as well as a reprimand for John for eating stovies straight out of the pan.

Cast
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steven Rance
Susan Webster

Written by
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner


Directed by
John Hardie

Lighting Design by
Kelvin Murray

Sponsors
Raeburn Christie
Lefevre Litigation

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal 4/6/99

Pigs were flying again at the Lemon Tree last night, powered by hail and hearty laughter from an enthusiastic audience. The long-awaited Flying Pig production of Stanley Cooslick’s Clockwork Sporran was unleashed with a distinctly tangy, orange flavour, right down to MC John Hardie’s boots. Although not sponsored by Orange, the show featured a flock of welcome mobile phone jokes, and some lively stabs at Grampian TV. However, the flying piglets are in no way discriminating about their vicitms, most people from most walks of life in the North-east, including myself, gets comically abused in this hilarious show. The Aberdeen Pavement Dances were a personal favourite and although all the piglets were uniformly brilliant, Craig Pike was more brilliant that most – in his orange shirt and socks. Written by Greg Gordon and Andrew Brebner, Clockwork Sporran is sharp, witty, irreverent, and essential comedy viewing.

Aberdeen Evening Express, 4/6/99

Jings, crivvens, help ma Boab! How do they do it? Another evening of pure unadulterated fun from the Flying Pigs – only this time, it may be even better. If you consider yourself an old-timer – if you have performances of Last Tango In Powis and Where Seagulls Dare under your belt – you’d better make it a hat-trick with this latest contribution to the North-east laughter file. Craig Pike excels himself yet again in a multitude of acting and musical roles, including a Doric Count Dracula and long-suffering faither in the Mither! sketches. John Hardie never fails to entertain in roles from the hilarious Archie and Davie and The Liar, to an uncanny impersonation of Grampian TV’s Kate Fraser. The show also launches some pop careers in the form of arthritic geriatric Betty Spears and the North-east boy band, Portsoyzone. The cast of A Clockwork Sporran, which includes the brilliant Susan Webster, Shirley Cummings, Steve Rance and Oli Knox, should be proud of themselves. For the third year running, I’ve chuckled all the way home. Catch it if you can.”

Previous show: Where Seagulls Dare – 1999

Next show: All Quiet On The Westburn Front – 2001

 

Where Seagulls Dare

Lemon Tree Studio – 1999

 

“A maelstrom of mirth.. This show is seriously funny & should not be missed!”

—Press & Journal

Why ‘Where Seagulls Dare’?

The full and frank story behind the sequel to Last Tango in Powis:

Greg:       ‘ Well, that last one went very well, didn’t it? Shall we do another one?’

Andrew:  ‘Yes, let’s.’

No time was wasted in beginning preparations for the second show. Indeed, the first new sketch was composed by Greg in Jock’s Bar after the opening night of Tango. Taking on board the criticism of the more off colour moments; expletives and bodily functions were pruned from the show and confined, instead, to rehearsals.

There were personnel changes too, with Scott and Fiona lured away to stage school in London, and the arrival of Susan and Steve, bringing a most welcome dose of coothy Doric and arseless Northern humour to proceedings.

Highlights included the debut of Aberdonian Pavement Dances, Archie & Davie remembering the Glory of Gothenburg and Maurice the Liar telling a whopper of biblical proportions.

Here’s the programme, featuring Craig’s debut appearance as cover star and a pair of stuffed seagulls which, legend has it, Oli smuggled out of (and, crucially, back into) the Zoology Dept at the University.

Cast
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steven Rance
Susan Webster

Written by
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner
Additional Material by
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Gordon Irvine
Susan Webster

Directed by
John Hardie

Musical Arrangements
Steve Rance

Lighting Design
Kelvin Murray

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal, 3/6/99

‘Apparently I hailed the first Flying Pig production, Last Tango In Powis, as a banquet of belly-laughs which must be true, because it was. Far be it from me to deprive the brilliantly funny Piglets of a handy bite-sized nugget of praise for their publicity material.So here are a few gems about their current comedy show, Where Seagulls Dare, which opened at the studio theatre of Aberdeen’s Lemon Tree last night. “A cocktail of capers” is quite good, as is “a treasure chest full of chuckles”. “A maelstrom of mirth” is better, or even “a lexicon of laughs!”All of which apply, are completely true and would fit neatly on to a poster and flyer. Written by Andrew Brebner and Greg Gordon, Where Seagulls Dare features the usual suspects. But for this new show Hardie, Knox, Pike, and Cummings are joined by the excellent Susan Webster and the superb Steve Rance.In all seriousness, this show is seriously funny and should not be missed.’

Aberdeen Evening Express, 4/6/99

‘What happens when the student show grows up? Well you may ask, as it doesn’t happen very often. Last time Scotland the What was born. Now its the turn of Flying Pig Productions to cut loose from the apron strings with their comedy show Where Seagulls Dare. Owing as much to Harry Enfield and chums as to Buff, Steve and George, the top comedy team of Last Tango In Powis fame pulls together yet another fun-packed evening in true North-east style. PC Bobby Constable is present and correct, courtesy of Doric grand master Craig Pike – whose portrayals of Mr Fester the undertaker and the coothy Doric terrorist are outshone only by his double act with John Hardie, Archie and Davie. If you lament the demise of Scotland the What?, Archie and Davie brings it all flooding back, reincarnated in the way only Buff’s son could get away with. Steven Rance, the Yorkshireman who mastered Doric for this year’s student show, turns in a still impeccable local accent, while girl power is supplied in gallons by talented duo Shirley Cummings and impersonator Susan Webster. Another year has brought new confidence, new faces, and a few necessary changes to the Flying Pigs, but I am glad to report the comedy and laughs are frequent as ever. I am already looking forward to next year.’

Previous show: Last Tango In Powis – 1998

Next show: A Clockwork Sporran – 2000

Last Tango in Powis

Lemon Tree Studio – 1998

“A banquet of belly-laughs.. superbly performed..if you can get a ticket for it, you’ll be very lucky.”

—Press & Journal

“Weel, it wiz different.”

— Craig’s Dad

Anticipation (coupled with anxiety, leavened with a touch of raw fear) was the watchword as The Flying Pigs taxied down the runway for the first time. As a new company performing new material in an unfamiliar theatre, we really had no idea what to expect. This didn’t make it easy to sell tickets.

Us –            “Will you buy a ticket?”

Punter –    “What can I expect?”

Us –            “We really have no idea.”

Would the audience laugh? And if so, would they laugh at the bits they were supposed to laugh at, or at the travesty unfolding before them? Nor were jangling nerves soothed by a shocker of a technical rehearsal during which it became clear that we had created a show with more lighting and sound cues than an evening out with Jean Michel Jarre. When the first night audience was bid welcome to the “Dress Rehearsal” which later concluded with a bow taken to the strains of “The Great Escape” little did they know that we were not entirely joking.

Here are a couple of blasts from our past. Among the highlights of Last Tango in Powis was Oor Faither featuring Craig as God and John as a bloke in a hard hat. Another was what turned out to be the first of many times that we met Archie & Davie.

And here’s the programme, featuring original cast member Scott Christie on the cover.

Reviews were mixed. Well, we got two, and one was a stinker.

“Laddish, lacking in subtlety and reliant on the pantomiming of bodily functions.” said the Evening Express in an uncharacteristically accurate piece of journalism.

“A banquet of belly-laughs…superbly performed…if you can get a ticket for it, you’ll be very lucky.” said the P&J, enthusiastically.

“When’s the next one?” said a gratifyingly large number of the audience.

And perhaps most importantly of all;

“You’ve haven’t lost money.” said the manager of the Lemon Tree.

So we partied, in the Mudd Club of all places, where Greg – not normally an energetic exponent of dance – gave an interpretation of “Brimful of Asha” so spirited that he broke the glasses of a startled bystander. Sorry Kenny.

 

Cast
Scott Christie
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Fiona Lussier
Craig Pike
Dave Quaite

Written by
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner
Additional Material by
Grant Campbell
John Hardie
Ewan MacGillivray
Charles Sandison

Directed By
John Hardie

Sponsors
Jock’s Bar
Enterprise Oil
Marathon Oil U.K. Ltd
Raeburn Christie

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal, 20/2/98

‘The newly formed Flying Pig Productions is the only company with the foresight and the common decency to supply me with a ready made review in the back of their programme. “Every word was a gem”, it read, “it’s the order they were put in that worried me”. After laughing all the way through Flying Pigs’ first hilarious comedy revue, Last Tango In Powis, at the Lemon Tree Studio Theatre last night, I’m more than happy to agree with the first part of that quote. Written by Andrew Brebner and Greg Gordon, and directed by John Hardie, this show is precisely what happens when talent and material boil over during the preparation for the Aberdeen Students Charities Show. Not that Last Tango is a light snack of mouldy leftovers. Anything but, this show is a banquet of belly laughs that will leave you completely stuffed. Superbly performed by Scott Christie, Shirley Cummings, John Hardie, Oli Knox, Fiona Lussier, Craig Pike and Dave Quaite, Last Tango takes a swipe at everything from the legal profession to sleekit flatulence. But first and foremost, it is a North-east show and it doesn’t care who knows it. It runs until Saturday at The Lemon Tree and if you can get a ticket for it, you’ll be extremely lucky.’

 

Next show: Where Seagulls Dare – 1999