Meet a conscientious objector. In fact, he’s practically a workaholic.

“A Bee in Your Bonnet” – One Man’s Struggle, a Blog by TIM BEE.

There are many things that anger me. Pot-holes, bus-fare hikes, wind-farms, the Haudigan roundabout, traffic jams, golf courses, bypasses and the new size of the P&J . “Some” people describe this all this upheaval as progress. Me? I call it “No-gress”.

Someone needs to take a stand against this – for want of a better word – “change”. Take the City Gardens Project.  I don’t have time to wait in traffic because the council has closed roads to develop “Gardens” which a significant minority of the population voted against (fact!). I wrote a letter to the P&J once a week, each week for 36 months, setting out my objections. And how many were published? One. That’s the kind of censorship I object to.

And the same goes for the Western Peripheral Route. We don’t want road-works in Stonehaven or Milltimber diverting rat-run drivers and clogging up our roads! I mean, for goodness sake, the city traffic is bad enough already – why would we want to build a “bypass” which will simply create more road-works and make it worse? Madness.

I also objected to Donald Trump’s golf course. It’s outrageous that such a development could be given the green light in an area of special scientific interest. That dune-grass doesn’t grow on trees you know! In fact the only thing I object to more than the Mennie development is the wind-farm that threatens the Mennie development. Or is it the Trump Organisation’s objection to the wind-farm that threatens the Mennie development? I forget, but whatever it is, it must be stopped!

Most recently I’ve been to Aberdeen City Council’s highly objectionable new offices at Marischal College to protest the proposed demolition of St Nicholas House. I’m as fundamentally opposed to that as I was to the building of the thing in the first place!

I’ve had it up to here (if you could see me now, I am currently sitting with my right hand exactly level with my widow’s peak. And I have a furious expression on my face) up to here, I say!

THEN…my so-called “employer” issued me with a final warning for writing letters, building placards and project managing a multi-million pound legal campaign on company time. Well, I object to that too. If they fire me then I will have my day in court and, appeal after appeal, I’ll take his pizza delivery franchise all the way to “Strasbourg” if I have to!

I’d actually enjoy an overseas trip, putting to one side my objections to the Eurozone. I haven’t been on holiday with the wife since she commenced divorce proceedings. She’s citing Unreasonable Behaviour. All I did was remortgage our house to pay for a team of Edinburgh lawyers, 700 cans of spray paint and a full size squirrel costume. How could she possibly object to that?


JOHNATHON M LEWIS, Local Headteacher, on “Muck up day” – when 4th year pupils who are leaving at the earliest lawful opportunity bid a fond farewell to their Alma Mater.

Some dissenting voices have declared “muck-up day” an embarrassment and a damning indictment on the state of modern education.  We at Garioch prefer to focus on the increasingly creative and ingenious ways our more practically-minded pupils choose to express themselves on the day they leave school.

Indeed, I said as much to the fire investigator while we combed the smouldering remains of the science block.  How many 15 year olds are capable of synthesising and detonating TNT?  It is heartening that these young people, while perhaps not the most academically gifted at the school, are taking away some tremendously useful practical skills.

Many local residents have been in touch to provide feed-back regarding the 20-foot mural depicting myself and Madame Dupont, the French assistante, painted on the side of the main building. It’s very exciting when artwork by one of our pupils provokes such a strong reaction.  Disappointingly, some of the feed-back has been negative. But putting to one side the subject matter; and the fact that, facing the main road as it does, it has caused two or three car accidents, it’s very encouraging that there have been no complaints about the quality of the work. Anatomically, the detail is startling (two thumbs up to the Biology department!) and I detect something of a cubist influence  – so ‘bravo’to the Art teachers! This is the kind of flair that we seek to instil in our youngsters at Garioch.  There is no tedious cling-filming of toilet seats at this school.

I know that Mr Kinnear, head of History, was particularly touched by the salting and burning of the school playing field.  A clear homage to the sacking of Carthage. Mr Grant, the groundsman, was equally moved, if his tears and subsequent letter of resignation were anything to go by. And Ms Sinclair will no doubt make positive use of the message permanently carved into the chalkboard in her English class – as both the spelling and grammar of “CLASS O 2012 WIZ ERE YE BAMS!” neatly exemplify some common mistakes.  Not that this should be taken as any kind of criticism of the pupils; there is no spell-check feature on a stanley-knife!