Recorded at Aberdeen Arts Centre 2007

‘You made my mum laugh, which is harder than you might think.’

– Kenny McBride

Much to our delight and surprise, someone working at the BBC’s Beechgrove studio in Aberdeen had put the word out to HQ that there was something worth seeing in the frozen North.  So it was that we met with Radio Scotland comedy producer, Margaret-Anne Docherty, who’d journeyed up from Glasgow to see Desperate Fishwives. Happily, she liked what she saw, (particularly the title!) and proposed a series. “Um…Ok.” We decisively replied, and so began the process of sorting out which sketches would work for radio and for a nationwide audience. Then we wrote some new stuff, just to be on the safe side… We recorded the shows at our old stamping ground, the Aberdeen Arts Centre on the 22^nd and 23^rd of June, and Series 1 was  broadcast by BBC Radio Scotland on Saturdays at 12.00 noon starting on the 1st September.

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Waiting for the green light…

Episode 1 BBC Radio Scotland 12:05 01/09/2007

Episode 2 BBC Radio Scotland 12:05 08/09/2007

Episode 3 BBC Radio Scotland 12:05 22/09/2007

Episode 4 BBC Radio Scotland 12:05 06/10/2007

After the first series aired, we had literally several messages of lukewarm encouragement. However, the one we enjoyed the most came from Jeff Zycinski, the head of BBC Radio Scotland who said, in an interview with the Times, “we have been inundated with requests for a new series of Desperate Fishwives, so we must be doing something right.”

That’ll do for us!

For copyright reasons, we cant post any clips from the radio shows, but  ‘Archie & Davie on The Moosie’ and ‘Up my Close – In Torry’ are up on Youtube, so fill your boots!

There’s more info about all our radio output on the Desperate Fishwives BBC micro-site.

Cast & Production Team

Cast

• John Hardie
• Moray Barber
• Craig Pike
• Susan Gordon
• Steve Rance
• Elaine Clark
• Greg Gordon

Written by

• Greg Gordon
• Andrew Brebner
• Simon Fogiel
• John Hardie
• Moray Barber

Produced by

• Margaret-Anne Docherty

Production Assistant

• Shaun MacDonald

Next: Desperate Fishwives Radio Series 2

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‘Laugh out loud funny’

– Bryan Burnett

All those folk who’d pestered the BBC for more Desperate Fishwives (thanks for that, by the way) got their wish in July 2008 when we recorded six more episodes for BBC Radio Scotland.

There’s also now a wee BBC micro-site all about the radio shows.

The series was broadcast on the following dates:

Episode 1 – 18:10 Friday 25/07/2008

Episode 2 – 18:10 Friday 01/08/2008

Episode 3 – 18:10 Friday 08/08/2008

Episode 4 – 18:10 Friday 15/08/2008

Episode 5 – 18:10 Friday 22/08/2008

Episode 6 – 18:10 Friday 29/08/2008

It was repeated on the national digital network, BBC 7, in the first 6 weeks of 2010.

Five enterprising listeners enjoyed the “Caledonia Bank” sketch so much that they posted it on Youtube, where, in total, it’s had almost half a million hits.

The audioclip has been emailed around the world; (we’ve had reports of it reaching Australia, Alaska and Abu Dhabi) you can check it out here; or here, and also here, here, and here.

Cast & Production Team

Cast

• John Hardie
• Moray Barber
• Craig Pike
• Susan Gordon
• Steve Rance
• Elaine Johnston
• Greg Gordon

Written by

• Greg Gordon
• Andrew Brebner
• Simon Fogiel
• John Hardie
• Moray Barber

Produced by

• Margaret-Anne Docherty

Production Assistant

• Lauren Mackay

Previous: Desperate Fishwives Radio Series 1

Next: Desperate fishwives Radio Series 3

‘Do we have to listen to this?’

– John’s 6 year old niece.

(Fair play to her, it was Christmas day, she had better things to  do)

Would we do a Christmas special? Came the enquiry from high up in the Radio Scotland firmament. In fact, will you do five, and we’ll put them out every day of Christmas week 2009?

Well, why not?

We recorded on a suitably dreich couple of nights in November, and the shows went out at lunchtime on the 21^st, 22^nd 23^rd, 24^th and 25^th December. The perfect audio accompaniment to the peeling of a big pile of sprouts.

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Cast & Production Team

Cast

• John Hardie
• Moray Barber
• Craig Pike
• Susan Gordon
• Steve Rance
• Elaine Johnston
• Greg Gordon

Written by

• Greg Gordon
• Andrew Brebner
• Simon Fogiel
• John Hardie
• Moray Barber

Produced by

• Margaret-Anne Docherty

Production Assistant

• Lauren Mackay

Previous: Desperate Fishwives Radio Series 2

Next: Desperate Fishwives Radio Hogmanay Special

The Hogmanay Special is a bit of a badge of honour for Scottish comedians, so we were affa pleased to be asked to produce one for Radio Scotland. Highlights included Robbie Shepherd raking through the archive to find lost tapes of the White Pudding Club, new characters The Bakery Wifies and our own version of Auld Lang Syne.

No prizes for guessing when the show went out; there was also a New Years Day repeat for everyone who was either too busy or too boozy to catchit on Hogmanay.

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Cast & Production Team

Cast

• John Hardie
• Moray Barber
• Craig Pike
• Susan Gordon
• Steve Rance
• Elaine Johnston
• Greg Gordon

Written by

• Greg Gordon
• Andrew Brebner
• Simon Fogiel
• John Hardie
• Moray Barber

Produced by

• Margaret-Anne Docherty

Production Assistant

• Lauren Mackay

Previous: Desperate Fishwives Radio Series 3

“Father Ted meets the Broons, with a wonderful Scottish Lyricism”

-Scottish Daily Express

The Tv Pilot of Desperate Fishwives was filmed in Aberdeen and Aberdeenshire during a hectic week in April 2010; have a look at our our blog from the shoot, with loads more behind the scenes photos, or the BBC microsite.

The show was broadcast on BBC2 on the 14^th of December 2010 and before long a couple of the sketches were uploaded to YouTube. Here are links to the extended trailer,  ‘Man’s Man‘,  Derek, the Psychotic Personal Trainer and our big finale, ‘Auchnagatt For Good‘ by the North-East boyband, Haud ‘Is.

Gallery

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2002 – Aberdeen Arts Centre

“Every line delivered with precision by a confident and talented cast.”

– Evening Express

“I was sore from laughing at half time!”

—David Morrice

Back in the Arts Centre, this time for a 4 night run, we got some unexpected free publicity when the local press used our title to report on plans to build a football stadium to the west of the city. That didna harm oor ticket sales. And so the first Flying Pig audience to break 1000 discovered the fate of Wee Alickie, the defunct Green Final’s cartoon paperboy, saw Robbie Shepherd’s efforts as a roving reporter and met Billy and Dougie; ex-trawlermen turned Air Stewards.

Cast
John Hardie
Elaine Johnston
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steve Rance
Susan Webster
And Introducing
Greg Gordon

Script
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner

Lyrics
Andrew Brebner
John Hardie

Directed by
John Hardie

Musical Arrangements
Steve Rance

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal 03/10/02

Flying Pig Productions, the North-east’s very own kings and queens of comedy have gone all multi-media in their new show at Aberdeen Arts Centre, and with hilarious results. Led by John Hardie, Craig Pike and Susan Webster, the Flying Pigs have rightly earned an excellent reputation for ringing laughs from homegrown targets. Their latest show, The Madness of Kingswells must be their best yet. Written by the brilliant Greg Gordon and Andrew Brebner, the show successfully develops some familiar favourite characters and takes them far beyond our comedy expectations. While the new characters just seem to get better and better. Expertly produced and performed, the Madness of Kingswells really does guarantee a hilarious night out.

Aberdeen Evening Express 03/10/02

I must confess to being a Flying Pigs fan – along with, I suspect, most of this first night audience. Often likened to Scotland The What?, the self-styled humour of these Student Show stars bears a passing resemblance to their predecessors. However, with four years’  experience now behind them, the group is making an impact all of their own. The Madness of Kingswells transports the comics from The Lemon Tree to Aberdeen Arts Centre, greatly increasing the staging potential, which director John Hardie oversees with his usual imaginative flair. Lighting and slide shows aside, the comedy has also moved up a gear, with writers Greg Gordon and Andrew Brebner turning in some of the group’s funniest moments yet, and every line delivered with precision by a confident and talented cast. It’s as much fun as any theatre-goer can handle.

Previous show: Prime Cuts – 2001

Next show: The Hunchback of Walker Dam – 2004

2001 – Aberdeen Arts Centre

“Like watching a home game in which the whole team scores, even the keeper.”

—Press & Journal

‘Scotland the What?’, the next generation.”

—Press & Journal

Alan Franchi’s kind invitation to headline the first Aberdeen Arts Centre Comedy Festival with a “Best Of” show took us by surprise. We’d known we were going to have to replace Laura Sinclair, who was off to drama school, but we didn’t realise we’d have to do it within a couple of months, for our biggest show to date. So we were very pleased to welcome Elaine Clark to the team, just in time for the move from our compact and bijou home at the Lemon Tree to a venue more than twice the size. Ever positive and forwards-looking, we hypothesised (and fretted) that :

A larger venue + material the punters have heard before =

Loss of intimacy + audience ennui =

Nae b*gger laughing.

We needn’t have worried; the laugh which greeted Archie and Davie’s reminiscences of Gothenburg 1983 nearly blew John and Pikey’s flat caps off, and Oli’s impassioned impression of Chewbacca singing the works of Barbara Dickson almost hospitalised one loyal fan, which is always nice.

We also recorded our first CD, now sadly sold out. Sadly for anyone who wants one. Happily, though, for Andrew’s folks who finally regained full use of their loft in 2008.

Cast
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steve Rance
Elaine Clark
Susan Webster

Written by
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner

Directed by
John Hardie
Musical Arrangements
Steve Rance
Craig Pike

Sponsors

Town & County
The Press and Journal
Gardner Accountants

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal 20/10/01

The Aberdeen Arts Centre was packed last night for Flying Pig – Prime Cuts and rightly so. Born from Students’ Charities Shows, Flying Pig is in one sense Scotland The What?, The Next Generation, with John Hardie, Craig Pike Oliver Knox and Susan Webster magnificently taking the lead roles. In other words, if you’re from the North-east an evening with Flying Pig is like watching a home game in which the whole team scores, even the keeper. Exploiting local scenes and characters and giving them a distinctly surreal twist is Flying Pig’s secret. The sharpness of the writing and the power of the performances, however, raises it far above its Student Show origins. The laughter rocked the Arts Centre last night as one hilarious sketch followed another. Basically a greatest hits collection, this all too rare appearance of the Flying Pigs is not to be missed. They fly again at the Arts Centre tonight and cannot be recommended enough.

Previous show: All Quiet On The Westburn Front – 2001

Next Show: The Madness Of Kingswells – 2002

Lemon Tree Studio – 2001

“15% of it was very funny. The other 85% was f@*#!ng hilarious!”

—Paul Hughson

Having refined our schtick there were no major changes for the fourth production, aside from saying farewell to Shirley and welcoming new performer Laura Sinclair. We put Robbie Shepherd in Stars in their Eyes, had PC Bobby Constable take the rap for Grampian Police, saw Davie phone a friend and revealed the hidden truth about Genghis Khan and the actor Peter Mayhew.

Cast
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steve Rance
Laura Sinclair
Susan Webster
With
Andrew Brebner
Greg Gordon

Written by
Andrew Brebner
Greg Gordon
Additional Material
Simon Fogiel

Directed by
John Hardie

Previous show: A Clockwork Sporran – 2000

Next Show: Prime Cuts – 2001

Lemon Tree Studio – 2000

“Sharp, witty, irreverent and essential comedy viewing”

– Press & Journal

“H’min, wis you in ‘at show at i Lemon Tree?
F*@#!ng brilliant! I hinna laughed ‘at much in years!”

—The Bouncer at Beluga

Dedicated to the memory of Stanley Cooslick, the famously reclusive North-East auteur, Clockwork Sporran had been unseen in British theatres for over 20 years, primarily because we’d only just written it.

Highlights included the Teuchtervision Song contest, Robbie Shepherd appearing in a Jane Austen novel,  Craig vamping it up and Maurice blowing his own, not inconsiderable, trumpet. .

More full houses and good notices resulted, for which we can only apologise, as a reversal of fortune would clearly have made for more exciting reading.

The post-show party was at Greg’s city centre batchelor pad, with newly fitted kitchen, leather suite and perforated roof. We were also graced with a guest appearance from Oli’s parents, the Commander and Mrs Knox, who provided words of wisdom and encouragement, as well as a reprimand for John for eating stovies straight out of the pan.

Cast
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steven Rance
Susan Webster

Written by
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner

Directed by
John Hardie

Lighting Design by
Kelvin Murray

Sponsors
Raeburn Christie
Lefevre Litigation

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal 4/6/99

Pigs were flying again at the Lemon Tree last night, powered by hail and hearty laughter from an enthusiastic audience. The long-awaited Flying Pig production of Stanley Cooslick’s Clockwork Sporran was unleashed with a distinctly tangy, orange flavour, right down to MC John Hardie’s boots. Although not sponsored by Orange, the show featured a flock of welcome mobile phone jokes, and some lively stabs at Grampian TV. However, the flying piglets are in no way discriminating about their vicitms, most people from most walks of life in the North-east, including myself, gets comically abused in this hilarious show. The Aberdeen Pavement Dances were a personal favourite and although all the piglets were uniformly brilliant, Craig Pike was more brilliant that most – in his orange shirt and socks. Written by Greg Gordon and Andrew Brebner, Clockwork Sporran is sharp, witty, irreverent, and essential comedy viewing.

Aberdeen Evening Express, 4/6/99

Jings, crivvens, help ma Boab! How do they do it? Another evening of pure unadulterated fun from the Flying Pigs – only this time, it may be even better. If you consider yourself an old-timer – if you have performances of Last Tango In Powis and Where Seagulls Dare under your belt – you’d better make it a hat-trick with this latest contribution to the North-east laughter file. Craig Pike excels himself yet again in a multitude of acting and musical roles, including a Doric Count Dracula and long-suffering faither in the Mither! sketches. John Hardie never fails to entertain in roles from the hilarious Archie and Davie and The Liar, to an uncanny impersonation of Grampian TV’s Kate Fraser. The show also launches some pop careers in the form of arthritic geriatric Betty Spears and the North-east boy band, Portsoyzone. The cast of A Clockwork Sporran, which includes the brilliant Susan Webster, Shirley Cummings, Steve Rance and Oli Knox, should be proud of themselves. For the third year running, I’ve chuckled all the way home. Catch it if you can.”

Previous show: Where Seagulls Dare – 1999

Next show: All Quiet On The Westburn Front – 2001

Lemon Tree Studio – 1999

 

“A maelstrom of mirth.. This show is seriously funny & should not be missed!”

—Press & Journal

Why ‘Where Seagulls Dare’?

The full and frank story behind the sequel to Last Tango in Powis:

Greg:       ‘ Well, that last one went very well, didn’t it? Shall we do another one?’

Andrew:  ‘Yes, let’s.’

No time was wasted in beginning preparations for the second show. Indeed, the first new sketch was composed by Greg in Jock’s Bar after the opening night of Tango. Taking on board the criticism of the more off colour moments; expletives and bodily functions were pruned from the show and confined, instead, to rehearsals.

There were personnel changes too, with Scott and Fiona lured away to stage school in London, and the arrival of Susan and Steve, bringing a most welcome dose of coothy Doric and arseless Northern humour to proceedings.

Highlights included the debut of Aberdonian Pavement Dances, Archie & Davie remembering the Glory of Gothenburg and Maurice the Liar telling a whopper of biblical proportions.

Here’s the programme, featuring Craig’s debut appearance as cover star and a pair of stuffed seagulls which, legend has it, Oli smuggled out of (and, crucially, back into) the Zoology Dept at the University.

Cast
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Oli Knox
Craig Pike
Steven Rance
Susan Webster

Written by
Greg Gordon
Andrew Brebner
Additional Material by
Shirley Cummings
John Hardie
Gordon Irvine
Susan Webster

Directed by
John Hardie

Musical Arrangements
Steve Rance

Lighting Design
Kelvin Murray

What the Papers Said

Aberdeen Press & Journal, 3/6/99

‘Apparently I hailed the first Flying Pig production, Last Tango In Powis, as a banquet of belly-laughs which must be true, because it was. Far be it from me to deprive the brilliantly funny Piglets of a handy bite-sized nugget of praise for their publicity material.So here are a few gems about their current comedy show, Where Seagulls Dare, which opened at the studio theatre of Aberdeen’s Lemon Tree last night. “A cocktail of capers” is quite good, as is “a treasure chest full of chuckles”. “A maelstrom of mirth” is better, or even “a lexicon of laughs!”All of which apply, are completely true and would fit neatly on to a poster and flyer. Written by Andrew Brebner and Greg Gordon, Where Seagulls Dare features the usual suspects. But for this new show Hardie, Knox, Pike, and Cummings are joined by the excellent Susan Webster and the superb Steve Rance.In all seriousness, this show is seriously funny and should not be missed.’

Aberdeen Evening Express, 4/6/99

‘What happens when the student show grows up? Well you may ask, as it doesn’t happen very often. Last time Scotland the What was born. Now its the turn of Flying Pig Productions to cut loose from the apron strings with their comedy show Where Seagulls Dare. Owing as much to Harry Enfield and chums as to Buff, Steve and George, the top comedy team of Last Tango In Powis fame pulls together yet another fun-packed evening in true North-east style. PC Bobby Constable is present and correct, courtesy of Doric grand master Craig Pike – whose portrayals of Mr Fester the undertaker and the coothy Doric terrorist are outshone only by his double act with John Hardie, Archie and Davie. If you lament the demise of Scotland the What?, Archie and Davie brings it all flooding back, reincarnated in the way only Buff’s son could get away with. Steven Rance, the Yorkshireman who mastered Doric for this year’s student show, turns in a still impeccable local accent, while girl power is supplied in gallons by talented duo Shirley Cummings and impersonator Susan Webster. Another year has brought new confidence, new faces, and a few necessary changes to the Flying Pigs, but I am glad to report the comedy and laughs are frequent as ever. I am already looking forward to next year.’

Previous show: Last Tango In Powis – 1998

Next show: A Clockwork Sporran – 2000