P&J Columns 2014
January
6/1/14 No matter how awkward your Hogmanay was, just be grateful you didn’t need an ice-breaker.
20/1/14 A third ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ – I’ll believe it when I see it.
February
3/2/14 When it comes to filthy thoroughfares, Aberdeen is streets ahead!
10/2/14 You can never have too much education. Unless, of course, it clashes with ‘Pointless’.
24/2/14 Everyone likes crispy duck, but this is ridiculous.
March
3/3/14 Local MSP gets into the cabinet. Unfortunately, it’s the drinks cabinet.
10/3/14 At the Uptown Baths it’s ‘No running, No bombing, No petting’; not to mention ‘No water’.
24/4/14 The Chancellor thinks you can be bought cheap, and a terrible week for Aberdeenshire sheep.
April
May
5/5/14 Why on earth was Jeremy Clarkson reciting ‘Eeny-meeny’? That is schoolboy stuff.
12/5/14 17th place at Eurovision for the U.K.? Fair enough, we weren’t the Wurst.
19/5/14 Len returns to the wrestling ring, but Barney suffers the Technical Knockout.
26/5/14 Poor old Putin; you annexe one neighbour and people start comparing you to Hitler.
June
2/6/14 What’s so exciting about a self-drive car from Google? Mitchell’s were doing them years ago.
16/6/14 “It wis a tragedy: I could niver get my cuddly ex to go the full Salmond”
23/6/14 See You Jimmy! Flying the Flag for Scotland, and threating to knock someone’s block off
30/6/14 Who says the council aren’t crowd pleasers? On Broad Street they’re bringing the House down.
July
7/7/14 The tragic tale of the Torry Coo.
21/7/14 Coats and jumpers out, shorts and t-shirts in. How’s that for a summer cabinet reshuffle?
28/7/14 Never mind the Tunnocks, here’s the Commonwealth Games
August
4/8/14 The ‘Friendly Games’. For everyone except Usain, apparently.
11/8/14 Unlike Salmond, Celtic have a ‘plan b’. It’s called the rule book.
18/8/14 Those crazy guys from the O.E.D are totes adorbs! Whatever that means.
25/8/14 ‘The Ice-Bucket Challenge’; or, as the C.I.A. used to call it, ‘water-boarding’.
September
1.9.14 For treachery, betrayal and controversy, even turncoat backbenchers can’t beat the Bake-off.
8.9.14 Some useful tips on bluffing yer wye in the boring world o’ current affairs
October
13.10.14 Did you hear about the sportsman who wrote his own autobiography? He didn’t have a ghoster!
20.10.14 Some folk are so hard to please. Since when has an after-hours lock-in been a bad thing?
27.10.14 Drink-drive limit to be reduced. At last, an excuse to refuse Mulled Wine.
November
3.11.14 Paying for bags and drop-offs at the airport – what is this, trick or treat season?
17.11.14 It’s the crowning achievement of human ingenuity (batteries not included).
24.11.14 Mocking the white van man? Reckless stuff.
December